The Secret I’ve Held for 9 Years… Until Now

Happy Friday! How are you? I hope well because I have a secret I’ve held for nine years and I would love to share it with you.

If you’re wondering why now, I believe it’s time. I believe Abba wants me to share this chapter of my life with you, so in due time His glory will be revealed and His healing powers manifested!

So, with that being said let’s jump right into tonight’s post!

Have you ever

experienced being in a state of mind where you have no control over your body? Your conscience may tell you to snap out of it, but your body does the total opposite?

During my eighth grade year, I recall a former classmate experiencing those incidents way too often.

He would lay flat on his back, shake and jerk uncontrollably. His eyes would roll to the back of his head and saliva would foam from his mouth.

To see this student, who had control over his body just minutes before, operate with no control always took me by surprise.

I remember one day asking him what they were known as and calmly he responded, “Seizures.”

As the school year progressed, his seizures did too.  And as an immature teenager, my care to check in on him after each episode decreased.

Until one day they stopped.

In 2007 he passed away.

He was only 13 years old.

Although I’m at peace and confident he’s resting with Abba Father, this time of the year always hits home because it marks National Epilepsy Awareness Month.

My Secret Revealed

Epilepsy, also known as a seizure disorder, affects the nervous system. On January 2, 2011, I was diagnosed with it after experiencing two back-to-back seizures.

What a way to start off that new year huh? When I received the news I was devastated, mortified, afraid, and most importantly mad at God.

Only five years had passed since I watched the life of my middle school friend slip away and suddenly I had it. How could this happen to me? Was this God’s form of payback for how I treated my now deceased friend in the past?

I had many concerns and no answers.

Living with Epilepsy as a Christian

I wish I could say this disorder magically disappeared after changing a few of my eating habits, visiting my neurologist quarterly, having yearly brain scans, and taking high dosages of my prescribed medicine daily.

I wish I could say I haven’t experienced any seizures at all this year.

I wish I could say I am ALWAYS positive after a seizure occurs.

However, I cannot. I have insecurities from time to time and wonder, “Why Me?”

Nevertheless, Abba reminds me to be of good cheer for He is with me and His glory will be revealed.

That is why when I am in pain I  praise!

I praise Abba for all He’s done, for allowing me to see another day,  and I praise Him in advance for healing me.

He healed Jeremiah from sickness, the woman who suffered from issues of blood and rose Lazarus from the dead. So, I KNOW He can do the same for me. He can even do the same for YOU too!

Share Your Story, Make A Change

If are experiencing an illness or you know someone who is I challenge you to try God by sharing your/their story. Tell others what you/they are experiencing, and declare what you KNOW God will do!

I pray blessings to you! You’ve made it to the end of this post. I encourage you to share your story. If you would like to learn more about the Epilepsy Foundation or donate click here! I would also love to hear your thoughts on the secret revealed. What was your greatest take away? Share in the comments below! I look forward to hearing from you!

8 thoughts on “The Secret I’ve Held for 9 Years… Until Now”

  1. Reading this was a beautiful and emotional moment for me. Your words allowed me to observe even beyond sickness. Like what do I take for granted that the Lord has abundantly given me? Thank you for your words. Praise God for allowing you to use your words for others. Hallelujah.❤️

  2. Maya Nichelle Caldwell

    I do not have an illness, but there was a time my spirit was taken over by so much darkness and I had to push through that and praise him in that moment and I recieved peace. I believe my father delivered me through my depression and self loathing, without him I would not be who I am today, I thank you for this post erica and I’m thankful for what out father is doing in yound I encourage others keep praising, praying and believing.

  3. I commend you for being brave in sharing your story. I never knew there was a month dedicated to epilepsy and I have only known a few people with epilepsy. It’s definitely a topic that needs more coverage. I pray many who read are blessed and encouraged.

  4. Awesome Post!… I know it took a lot of courage to reveal that but in doing so you also opened up a forum for others to share what they’ve been going through also and that is a blessing. Know that God is ALWAYS in control and continue to speak life ( Proverbs 18:21 ) over that situation because by his stripes, WE ARE HEALED (Isaiah 53:5 )… God bless you and keep up great work!!!