If you could describe yourself as a disciple, which one would you be? Would you be one who’s all about the money, like Matthew the tax collector, or one who needs to see and touch things to declare they are real like doubting Thomas?
Personally, I would describe myself as disciple Peter. One day he’s rolling with Jesus the next day he’s not. One minute he’s slicing ears off of warriors for Jesus, the next day he has amnesia.
Similar to Peter I have had my tug of war days with Jesus. Yet, whenever I fall I ALWAYS get up just as Peter did many times before.
From a fisherman to a disciple, Jesus shows us how He was able to turn a man of unbelief into a man who was dedicated, devoted, and determined to get it right- no matter the cost.
Every time I read a story about Peter my heart leaps with joy. I am quickly filled with hope because I am able to see the life of a man who walked with Jesus, denounced Jesus, went to sleep on Jesus, took an exclusive trip to Heaven with Jesus, and revealed the Holy Spirit to hundreds of people on Earth after Jesus ascended to Heaven.
And you know what? He WAS NOT perfect!
Disciple Peter made mistakes, bruised a LOT, but he NEVER gave up. He always tried again.
Talk about astonishing!
Moment of Truth: My Meltdown
During my extended hiatus, I received much information from Abba to share, but when the time came to speak up I became bashful, timid, and afraid. My first thought was what would people think since I’ve been away for so long?
Shortly after, toxic thoughts followed:
“You’ve waited this long, so hold off until next year.”
“Your message doesn’t matter, so don’t share it.”
“Girl you have other things to do, writing shouldn’t be your purpose.”
I was at wits end ready to fall into a hole of depression, but it was there, at my lowest point I met with Jesus. He shared with me what was holding me back wasn’t people at all, but it was myself.
I chose to take in the lies the enemy flaunted in my face. I chose to question the power God had given me. I chose to mope around with lousy looks to God and base it on my past.
It wasn’t until the beginning of this month I physically felt a shift in my spirit. The shift was telling me to move from my old ways of thinking and operate according to the will of God– not my own. After the shift I found myself reading notes in my old composition books that emphasized God’s call on my life.
No longer was my focus on myself but it was on the Master and there I released myself back to Him.
This past season provided me with much insight, however, my main takeaway was:
God has so much He wants to reveal, but I MUST be willing to share His Gospel EVEN when I fall. I need to practice what I preach.
Since we are human it is inevitable we WILL mess up. However, as we progress and go we WILL get better.
The story of Jesus and Peter resonates with me strongly. In John 21, Peter meets Jesus for breakfast at the sea and it is there Jesus, askes Peter three times, “Do you love me?” Although Peter’s response was “Yes, I love you”, Jesus tells Peter each time to feed His lamb and sheep.
Meditating on this passage,I believe Jesus was testing Peter to truly see where his heart was and to inform him of the personal cross he would have to bear if he truly chose to follow Him.
Once again Peter was hesitant, nevertheless, he did as Jesus told him to do and followed Him.
You see, many times we speak with our mouths, “Use me Lord” or “I love you, Lord, have your way” however, we do not always do what we say.
And, trust me, I am guilty.
However, I am learning the importance of not just saying things to God, but actually doing them. I challenge you to do the same.
Keep the faith and remain in peace, for in due time your appointed time will arise and our Father will receive the glory!
Hi friend! Did you enjoy this message? Comment below your main takeaway and how you plan to implement it in this season. I’d love to hear from you!